An old woman is riding an elevator in a very lavish New York City office building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elvator smelling of expensive perfume and turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"

One floor later the next young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and also very arrogantly turns and says to the old woman, "Chanel No. 5 $150 and ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. But before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eyes, bends over, and lets out a most foul-smelling fart. She leaves the stunned women in a cloud of funk saying "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."

More shitty than a lactose intalerante at a dairy eating compotition

A woman goes into a store to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a "associate" standing there with
dark shades on.

She says, "Excuse me sir . . . can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes."

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "Thats a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line . . . It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00".

She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes
that there is no way he could tell it was her . . . being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."