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Funny Sex Jokes

This couple were gonna have sex but before they did the girl says ''i have something to confess' the guy says ''what is it'' she says''my chest is flat i have no tits if this changes your mind about marrying me then i understand''the guy thinks about it and says ''nah theres better things in life than sex'' later on the guy says ''i have something to confess also'' the girl says ''what'' he says ''from my waist down its like a baby if this affects our marriage i understand'' she thinks about it and says ''nah theres better things in life than sex'' so they finally gonna fuck and she takes off her shirt and her chest is flat as a cardboard and he takes off his pants and she faints.later on when she wakes up the guy tells her ''why did u faint'' she says ''i thought u said it was like a baby'' he said ''yea 9 inches and 21 pounds

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why are hurricans like women?............
because when the come they are warm wet and windy .

and when they leave they take the house, the car and the money

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Which condom would you use....

Nike Condoms: Just do it.

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.

Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.

Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.

Ford Condoms: The best never rest.

Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.

Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.

California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.

KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.

Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.

Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.

The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face...

General Electric: We bring good things to life!

AT&T condom: 'Reach out and touch someone.'

Bounty: The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?

Energizer: It keeps going and going and going....

M&M condom: 'It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!'

Chevron: use them? people do.

Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border

MCI: for friends and family

Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter

Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are

United Airlines travel pack: Fly United

The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

Wendy Condoms: Where's the beef?

Denny's Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam

Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!

Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!

McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served

Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities

Burger King: Have it your way

Dairy Queen: We treat you right

AOL: So easy to use, no wonder it's #1

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Question: what is the speed of sex?
Anwer: 68 cause at 69 you gotta turn around!

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A man wakes up one morning and finds red rings all over his dick. He goes to the doctors and the doctor gives him sum cream. He puts it on that night and they instantly go. Amazed, he goes back to the doctors and asks what the cream was. "lipstick remover" replied the doctor

 
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